Bozza nonsense

Oh dear. Boris has gone and done it again. He's offended people, apparently.

Remember two years ago when, after Ken Bigley's death, he was suggested Liverpool enjoyed wallowing in grief? Fair dos, he was sent up to Merseyside and made to apologise the great and the good in the port city, singing the praises of Liverpool to the point where I expected him to appear on telly with a Scouse accent the next day.

Sadly, that comment means every word he writes or utters is now scrutinised to the nth degree to see if it causes offence.

And so it came to pass last week that, when commenting on the political problems besetting the Labour Party, he managed to cause offence again.

"For 10 years, we in the Tory Party have become used to Papua New Guinea-style orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing, and so it is with happy amazement that we watch as this madness engulfs the Labour Party."

Now, by that comment, do you sudden assume everyone in Papua New Guinea eats each other? No, of course not. But the fact is they do have a history which does include rather a lot of family nibbling.

So stand up Jean L Kekedo, the high commissioner for Papua New Guinea in London, to claim the moral highground of self-created distress as this flippant comment.

He said he was angered by the comments, and, as David Cameron's chief - possibly one concrete - policy is to offend no-one, Bozza had to backtrack.

Johnson later said: "I meant no insult to the people of Papua New Guinea, who I'm sure lead lives of blameless bourgois domesticity in common with the rest of us."

Note how Labour don't seem to have taken any offence at Boris's inital comments, but is he really accusing me of leading a life of blameless bourgoi domesticity? How dare he! I want him round here, now, to apologise! Off with his head!

Hannibal the remake: Perhaps someone could eat Hilary Armstrong?