Webcamoron

It's been a while since a politician made me want to instantly puke.

But David Cameron did it almost as soon as I heard the words: "Webcameron."

I mean, who in Tory Central Office - or whatever it's called now - honestly thought it would be a good idea? His jokey warning: "Watch out BBC and ITN, I coming to get you," what was that about?

He's not turning into one of these politicians who believes their failure to connect with the public is more to do with them having to deal with the great unwashed through the media than it has to do with the fact people are sick of them being all style and no substance, is he?

The rickety camera shot is horribly contrived, and the fact he's in the kitchen - that says to me 'I'm a man who is really too busy to talk to you but I'll make the effort.' If he's got something worth saying to attract my vote, he should give me his undivided attention.

Only he hasn't, has he? Nothing worth saying. Not at the moment, anyhow. Cos he's got no policies to speak of. Just a vote-vacuum which attempts to pick people up so dis-satisfied with Labour that they don't really need to hear policies.

So why has he stood up twice at conference to deliver long speeches which in a nutshell, tell us nothing. He is turning into Blair MkII. Remember where Blair was caught out talking about sitting and watching Newcastle United? He was rumbled when people pointed out it was terracing in those days. That was Blair's attempt to be the common man. Cameron's attempt to be a green man involves him going around on a bike. With a car behind carrying his filofax.

You can write off Blair's cock-up as a bit of image spin gone wrong. Loads of blokes bluster about how deep their love of a football club goes. Cameron's attempt, desperate as it is, to appear green is deeper than that. It's an attempt to deceive on the one policy he has let slip: that he intends the Tories to be green.

Blair's famous pre-election quote was 'education, education, education.' Cameron has tried to emulate that with: "Just three letters: N H S." Well done Dave, you've embodied the idea of cutting the crap, of slimming down, in a nice bit of spin. Only it means sod all. Better education can tackle so many social ills: it gives people the power to make informed choices, to live better lives. A better NHS may sound great, but you never WANT to use the NHS do you. You'd always rather not. So in essence, Labour's idea of prevention is better than cure is being turned on its head for the sake of a cheap slogan.

The more Mr Dave opens his mouth, and lets anything fall out so long as it doesn't represent a policy, the more I'm slowly beginning to believe that Tony Blair running the country is no bad thing.